Friday, March 18, 2011

happy

some things that make me happy....



...Cotton Candy Jelly Bellys

...having someone brush my hair

...puppy breath

...a good book

...freshly brushed teeth

...southern sweet tea

...a good night kiss from Henry

...being held when I'm falling asleep

...ICE cold Metromint

...ALIAS

...a comfortable bra

...soft sheets

...panties that don't ride up my bum

...finding the perfect purse

...singing in the shower

...my friends





i'll add more later. I'm falling asleep.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

crybaby

Being a woman has its advantages and disadvantages. Right now I'm not so focused on the advantages. Mostly because of one of the disadvantages... PMS. Now having PMS does mean that women have the ability for great things... the cycle of life.. yadda yadda. I get that. I understand that. Being able to create a life with someone is beautiful. I'm hoping to be able to do that in the future.

But right now, my hormones are reeking havoc in my body. Seems the older I get the more I notice this happening. Maybe it's just because there has been so much stress in my life. I don't know. All I know is in the past 24 hours I've been extremely sensitive and even brought to tears a couple times. I am not comfortable with that. I feel like my body is turning on me....it turns me from an upbeat sweet funny witty and silly girl to this over emotional cry baby. Ugh...

Henry suggested that I take some medicine and go to bed. To not think of all the crap I've been mulling over all day and just go to bed. Tomorrow is a new day. He's right. (I'm sure he'll want to highlight and save those two words to use at a later date!)

I'm going to take some meds... put my ipod in my ears and try to let this day fade away into slumber.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Had more to say than I thought...

I've sat here at this keyboard for quite sometime. I have so many thoughts going through my mind this evening. I thought if i sat here long enough I could make it into some sort of smart and witty blog. I fear I have failed accomplishing that task.

I emailed back and forth to a friend of mine I've only known for a few years. She was telling me that tomorrow was 'college' day for her daughter, which got me thinking about Meagan and how we went through that college search together what seems like years and years ago. I realized my friend didn't know the story of Baby Meagan, so I told her. It brought back a flood of memories I had from that time. From when we'd stay up late doing home work or she'd wake me up in the middle of the night because she had a bad dream and wanted to get in bed next to me. From her prom and that dress of hers with a million and twenty beads on it that I had to stay up for 3 nights redoing for her. The time we drove to Dallas all night long because she had a school function and couldn't leave Arkansas until 11pm so we could see Wicked on tour. There are so many things.. so many memories. Oohhhh.. the grilled cheeses she'd have me make her and to this day still talks about.
I'll say this, if nothing else in life, God knows what he's doing. He put that child in my life at that time for a reason. She not only needed me, I needed her. She will always be a part of my heart and my family.

Other ramblings in my head at this moment is the cost of medication. Today we had to take Mom back to the ER. Her homehealth nurse didn't like the looks of her wound today ... called Mom's doctor and to be on the safe side, he said we should take her to the ER... Well, several hours later, she was discharged from the ER with 2 prescriptions. One for an ointment for her wound and the other was a different antibiotic. The ER doc did say it may be a bit pricey and if it was to call back to the ER and he would try something different.

After dropping Mom and Dad at home, I went to drop off her rx's and to do a bit of grocery shopping. The pharmacy tech at Walgreens looked at me strangely when I gave her the Rx and she asked me to hold on for a moment, then she came back and said that she was sorry to tell me this, but this medication is quite expensive. I asked how much and she told me that for the COPAY it would be $698.00!! I just looked at her. I said $700???? Are you KIDDING me??? She told me the drug with out the insurance would cost $2800!!!!! Ummmmm.... WHaaaaattt?? I was shocked. And so was my Dad. But even after trying to get ahold of the ER doctor (who had gone home by this time) and finally talking to Mom's regular doctor, he said that was her only choice. One small problem. Jason called to check on Mom and when Dad told him what medication it was, Jason informed him that he was allergic to that antibiotic. Great. He and Mom share a lot of the same allergies. So basically, we got them to fill 2 pills so we could make sure Mom doesn't have an allergic reaction before Dad pays $700 for the entire rx.... She's had one dose. And so far, so good. I wouldn't tell her what type of reaction Jason had to the medicine, because she is easily influenced by what people say or how they feel. Somehow she always has the 'very same' reaction. So, I chose not to tell her. She wasn't to happy with that choice, however and I got the evil look of Sandie when I wouldn't tell her. Tomorrow I'll give her the 2nd dose and if all goes well, I'll go pick up the rest of it.

My bed companion tonight, as most nights, is Mimi. Mom and Dad's cocker spaniel. She is a loving and sweet girl who has grown used to coming to bed with me. She even looks for me when she feels its time to go to sleep. She cracks me up all the time and I really wish I could know what she was thinking in that head of hers. But what really cracks me up is how she sleeps sometimes.... it's like there isn't a care in the world. It's kinda sweet and I think it fills a void with me since I lost my own cocker spaniel Hannahbelle.

I'm hoping that tomorrow afternoon I'll be heading over to Henry's to stay with him. I've not seen him since Monday morning and I miss him something terrible. Through all I think about and go through, I'm glad he's by my side. I'm glad he's a part of my life. I love him more than anything. And love him more with every single day.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

what i know....for sure March 3

What I know for sure...

...is that I'm glad I'm finally feeling like my old self again.
...that being sick sucks ass.
...when i think of Henry my heart skips a beat.
...that you shouldn't give in to your cravings when you are on the verge of throwing up.
...that no matter how much you've slept while being sick, you still need more.
...that spring is coming and it's so nice to have the windows open in the house.
... that gas prices are rising for no damn reason.
...that i cannot wait to have Henry's arms around me again.
...that i wish i still looked as young as I sometimes feel when i look in the mirror.
...I'm excited my show Big Bang Theory comes on tonight!
...that I'm hoping I'll be spending most of my weekend with the man I love.

ramblingssssssssssss

there are times in my life i want to just get words to paper. they may not make sense to anyone , then again, they could change the world. Highly doubtful on the latter however...
I see things that need to be changed on day to day basis. With people and how they communicate w each other. Some have ideas and when that idea is presented, it is usually shot to hell before anyone can actually see or experience the idea. What I'd like to see is a safe forum for people to present ideas for making life a lot simpler. The ideas are out there. It's tracking down those that are able to commit to doing this type of process with me. And once all of the processes are tracked down and we have sets of process rules with applications of the processes and such, then we expand to something larger. I have ideas on ways things could be better flowing thru my veins on a daily basis. I know my friends do too. The idea has to be to get this out there and find those that are willing to.
Again, this could be just a rambling of nothingness.... but we'll see.