what's in a name....

A friend of mine sent me a link to find out what your name means (http://www.paulsadowski.com/NameData.asp)....very cool, if you ask me. And pretty spot on as far as my name is concerned. So, I thought I would share with you what mine means... because, even if you know my last name, most of you don't have a clue about my middle name...I tend not to share that info!!!

Have a great night!!!

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There are 21 letters in your name.Those 21 letters total to 90There are 8 vowels and 13 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:
Greek
Female

Of Cynthus (Mount Cynthus on the island of Delos).

Famous bearer: Cynthia was one of the names of the mythological moon goddess Artemis, referring to her birth on Mount Cynthus.


Your number is: 9

The characteristics of #9 are: Humanitarian, giving nature, selflessness, obligations, creative expression.

The expression or destiny for #9: The expression that you exhibit is represented bythe number 9. Your talents center in humanistic interests and approaches. You like to help others as you were intended to be the 'big brother or big sister' type. You operate best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion, and allow yourself to be sensitive to the needs of others. You work well with people, and have the potential to inspire. This suggests that you could successfully teach or counsel. Creative ability, imagination and artistic talent (often latent) of the highest order are present in this expression. It's possible that you're not using or developing all of these capabilities at this time. Some of your talents may have been used at an earlier time in your life, and some may still be latent. Be aware of your capabilities, so that you can make use of them at appropriate times.
If you are able to achieve the potential of your natural expression in this life, you are capable of much human understanding and have a lot to give to others. Your personal ambitions are likely to be maintained in a very positive perspective, never losing sight of an interest in people, and a sympathetic, tolerant, broad-minded and compassionate point of view. You are quite idealistic, and disappointed at the lack of perfection in the world. You have a strong awareness of your own feeling as well as those of others. Friendships, affection, and love are extremely important.
Undeveloped or ignored, the negative side of the 9 expression can be very selfish and self-centered. If you do not actively involve yourself with work that benefits others, you may tend to express just the opposite characteristics. It is your role to be very involved with other people and their needs, but it may be difficult for you achieve this role. Aloofness, lack of involvement, and a lack of sensitivity mark the low road of this expression.

Your Soul Urge number is: 5
A Soul Urge number of 5 means: The 5 soul urge or motivation would like to follow a life of freedom, excitement, adventure and unexpected happening. The idea of travel and freedom to roam intrigues you. You are very much the adventurer at heart. Not particularly concerned about your future or about getting ahead, you can seem superficial and unmotivated.
In a positive sense, the energies of the number 5 make you very adaptable and versatile. You have a natural resourcefulness and enthusiasm that may mark you as a progressive with a good mind and active imagination. You seem to have a natural inclination to be a pace-setter. You are attracted to the unusual and the fast paced.
You may be overly restless and impatient at times. You may dislike the routine work that you are engaged in, and tend to jump from activity to activity, without ever finishing anything. You may have difficulty with responsibility. You don't want to be tied down to a relationship, and it may be hard to commit to one person.

Your Inner Dream number is: 4
An Inner Dream number of 4 means: You dream of being a very solid citizen that people can depend upon. You strive for organization and predictable order. You want to be recognized as a person with a plan and the discipline to make that plan work like clockwork.

Sleepless nights time and time again!!!

Sleeping doesn’t come easy for me. EVER. Since the time I was in jr high this has been a complete and TERRIBLE event. Just the words, “Goin’ to bed! G’nite” just makes me roll my eyes.

I admire those that are able to get into bed, close their eyes and WHAMMO…..they are asleep. How the FUCK do I get into club?

Last night was a struggle for me….AGAIN….and I am just sick and tired of not being able to fall asleep.

I have done all my homework on the subject of sleep. I have done the ‘extra’s’ one should do to prepare for sleep. From making myself go to bed earlier, not eating after 7pm, NO caffeine …EVER, listening to calming sounds while trying to sleep, and good ole fashioned drugs…ambien to be exact. (Lunesta didn’t do CRAP for me!). My most recent attempt was getting a consult with an herbalist. She was very sweet and really knew her stuff. I got some teas, and some herbal pills that are supposed to naturally help your system fall into sleep. Now then, the stuff she suggested I use for stress, really works! There are these drops you put under your tongue and they really do calm anxiety. But, once again, I have struck out on the ‘cure all’ to my sleep problem.

I have completely changed my eating habits since the new year. I am trying to become more healthy. I thought that by doing that, it would help a little. And it HASN’T!! I just sometimes want to scream as loud as possible until I haven’t the energy to go and I just pass out! Lol!!! One can dream, I suppose!

Tonight, I have taken an ambien. I caved. I need sleep and I need help getting there.


If there are thoughts anyone that read this have, please share with me!!! I would be so happy to hear anything new!!!!

Tata for the night!!!

RE-Discovery

I have thought time and time again to start a blog of my very own. And as fate would have it, a friend whom I adore, wanted to share her blog with me. By doing that, I discovered that I ALREADY signed up to have one!

So, today I have posted a few poems I have written. I hope those that I invite to join me, enjoy them and leave me a few of their comments on them. I will try to be a little bit more faithful in writting close to daily.

No Day but Today

Spinning and spinning
Up and down,
‘round and ‘round

Faster and slower
Heart beats on

Memories jumbled
Thoughts clouded

What is real?
What is true?

Anger within
Words come out

Centered self?
Finding it hard

No day
But today

Life is there
Opening to see

Standing strong
Weakens the knees

Smile on my face
Tears in my heart

World will not stop
It shall move on

Eyes dry
Do not know why

No day
But today

Always Right Here

Butterflies all a flutter
Reality better than dreams

It wraps around you
Like a comfortable blanket

Just a thought in your head
Can bring a smile to your lips

To hear their voice in a whisper
Will send shivers along your spine

The lingering perfume upon the pillow
Surrounds you and calms you

Knowing that forever
Isn’t that out of reach

Letting yourself be open
Letting yourself be free

A look from their eyes
Tells you all there is to know

Even if they are across the room
You are always right by their side

Through hard times and sad times
In joy and in bliss

Love is within your palm
So reach for her hand

A loving touch
A gentle squeeze

Tells your soul and your heart
That this love is always right here

Embrace the Unknown

Embrace the Unknown


I am a phantom in my own shadow
Peering from within I can see myself

I want to run towards something new
I wish to embrace the unknown

My soul is open to endless thoughts
My heart beats to its own rhythm

A yearning for a touch of excitement
The need for a sound of familiar

The warmth of another
Pressed firmly upon my breast

The comfort of a breath
Nestled sweetly at the nape of my neck

Yes, I will run to something new
And yes, I will embrace the unknown